Things I Learned Traveling Solo With My Toddler

In August 2022, I took a solo trip with my son (26 months old at the time) to visit my sister in San Diego (leaving from Baltimore, MD). OK so it wasn't totally a solo trip, just the transportation to and from, but this was also the very first time I was flying with my toddler. We'd been on road trips to the beach before but this was different, tackling security, boarding, etc felt like a completely different beast. We were flying Southwest, so no pre-determined seats, boarded with family boarding. We had evening flights both ways (luckily he slept a lot!), and both were nonstop. A layover and second boarding/getting off process felt like too much and disruptive to sleep. Side note: highly recommend the Chase Sapphire card so you can save money on your flight! One additional background piece - I decided to bring our carseat on the flight (also used in my sister's car). I feel like this topic could be a blog post in itself, and you'll read about the pros and cons as we go through the things I learned:

1. Definitely follow the advice of asking strangers for help! Leaving Baltimore: While I was boarding, someone volunteered to help get the car seat out of the bag, and he made sure the bag got picked up and stored (apparently it was on the floor with other passengers walking right over it as I was installing the car seat). Another woman helped haul the seat from the gate to baggage claim where I finally found a cart. Leaving San Diego, security made me ditch the cart there instead of keeping it up until the gate. I was hauling my son in the carrier on my front, diaperbag on my back, plus a heavy, bulky car seat and umbrella stroller (purchased during our trip, we went to DisneyLand). We were almost to the gate when the stroller unfolded on me and I froze and locked eyes with a stranger who jumped up from her seat to help. We made it to the gate counter and I was so over the car seat at that point that I gate checked it, which had some pros and cons. When we landed back in Baltimore, a nice man volunteered to grab my bag from baggage claim, so I guess I didn't actually have to ask anyone for help, but I did have to accept the help that was being offered. There's no badge for doing it all yourself. Also if you're reading this and flying soon, I hope you'll stop to offer a struggling parent some assistance if you're able to!

2. Ask the flight attendants for help. They may not outwardly offer it like strangers do, but they are available to you. They can haul your car seat off the plane, get a bag down, etc

3. Invest in a travel car seat (or borrow one from a friend!). We have the Clek Fllo which I love but it was way too heavy and bulky to be traveling with. At the time I wasn't sure how many other flights we'd go on together in the near future, and didn't want to purchase a travel car seat. But I should have just bought one, and worst case resold. For our Colorado and Eastern Caribbean Cruise trips last year I borrowed the Cosco Scenera Next from a friend and it was so much easier than the Clek. Lots of options on Amazon, like the Cosco Onlook. For the flight to San Diego, I liked having him strapped in but again the seat was bulky so it affected his ability to use the tray table for snacks and there wasn't a ton of room for me to get comfortable and sleep. For the flight home to Baltimore, when I gate checked the seat, there was a lot more space and less hassle getting on and off the plane, but he wouldn't stay seated and ended up sitting on the floor. It was a lot of effort trying to keep him in the seat/still vs the car seat straps doing the work for me. To each their own, but I prefer to bring the seat on the plane vs gate checking it. I think other airlines might cover damage, Southwest does not, and they scratched the seat (yes somehow it got scratched even in the bag). This is another reason why you should have a separate car seat for travel, so your main car seat doesn't get damaged. If your $69 Cosco seat gets damaged, it's less of a deal than your $400 Clek.

4. Along with a travel car seat, you'll need a travel system. There are lots of options, from a simple luggage strap (I used this on our CO trip and it didn't stay on very well, kept loosening), to a cart (used this on our last cruise, it worked OK. You'll need to make sure the strap is very tight especially if your sleeping child will be riding on it), to a full bag with wheels. Here's a cheaper 2 wheel option but I recommend one with 4 wheels, easier to haul. The one I had for the SD trip had only 2 wheels ($5 facebook purchase) and while it got the job done, it was difficult to carry because you had to keep the seat at an angle use the wheels.

5. Be comfy with car seat installation. You'll want to be quick with this, whether it's on the plane or in the car at your destination. Practice this ahead of time.

6. Pack light. Babe in carrier, diaper bag or backpack with cooler section for snacks, your car seat, and a minimally packed bag of luggage. Easier said than done, but when you have to haul around whatever you pack, you regret overpacking pretty quickly.

7. When you're at the gate, look around for abandoned(free!) carts that haven't made their way back to the kiosk. If you have a car seat or lots of carry-on, a cart at the gate is a game changer.

8. Bring extra comfort items for yourself to sleep. I know I said to pack light, but if a sound machine, eye mask, etc will help you sleep, bring it. I underestimated how difficult it would be for myself to sleep on the flight. Pre kids version of me: sleeps on plane, has time to catch up on missed sleep. Mom me: can't sleep on planes, zero time to catch up on sleep. I will definitely be bringing some essential oils on our next flights!

9. Have realistic expectations. This doesn't mean you expect everything to go poorly, it just means you expect some things will go smoothly and other parts will be more challenging. Having realistic expectations --> mentally prepared for challenges --> handles challenges + enjoys the trip

10. There will always be something that you don't have; the "perfect" gear, the fancy suitcases, diaper bags, etc. Spoiler alert: you don't need those things to travel with your baby or toddler. Are they helpful? Yes. But you can get by without them. So borrow the car seat, find a second hand bag, buy that ticket, and go. Don't wait until you can afford top dollar gear to travel with your child(ren).

11. There's no "perfect" time to travel with your kids, you just have to make it happen if you want do it. If you wait until the "perfect" age, you'll never go. The best age for traveling with your kids is the age you feel comfortable with. If you're feeling ready and confident, don't worry about what other people think or say, just plan your trip and go. I was a bit nervous about the SD trip but I actually returned home ready for more and excited for the next one!

If you're feeling ready to travel with your child(ren) and think you would enjoy a cruise, I'm here to help!